Reassessing the Orange Paradigm

As noted yesterday Barnelia has been telling tales of work. Not just any tales, but stories about bureaucratic management systems. This sort of stuff makes my blood boil. Check out the most recent Pretty Lab post for the discussion of “red box.” I want to know is it a verb, noun or adverb. It would be best, and most useful, if it were an actual red box. You know, for storage or maybe it has snacks in it.

Even after a graduate level management course I still can’t endorse any management system or method or whatever. I am extremely thrilled not to be in an extremely silly office environment. Sure it starts to weave into some obtuse crap, but we’ve avoided a management system . . . though we did have a close brush with “balance scorecards” a while back. I think everyone realized doing all the work for the scorecard would then become our primary task instead of our product.

What kills me is that it’s all fake or at least fake sounding. While we need some order there is no reason to slap a fantasy role-playing game on top of it all (“Meetings & Managers in my den this Saturday night!!”). Managers hide behind the game and use fake rules and words to sound purposeful.

I can’t tell you how many times I hear the word “flexible” in any giving meeting. What they are really saying is “I can’t make a decision!” or “I want it all!” Well guess what, there comes a time when everyone has to put on their big girl pants and make a decision. Most decisions close some doors and limit choices but that’s how you get things done. Not by dithering around and being flexible all the time, but by making a freaking decision. I really feel that some managers are unable to decide because they can’t own the fact that they will have to say no to an “opportunity” (more on that in a bit). To be honest, I’ve been in this position myself: you can’t make a decision so you waffle in the name of flexibility. I’ve had to push myself into making a decision and it was always for the best because we were able to move forward.

The other word that gets thrown around a lot is “opportunity” and its slutty cousin, “partnerships.” Both of these are great in the abstract; they are powerful ideas that let organizations grow and really do some great stuff. But only certain people should use them: disciplined people. For me these two words have become meaningless. They are used so much that everything is an opportunity and everyone is a partner. I realize that in order to be flexible (HA!) one must have this view, but it’s unrealistic. You can’t do everything all the time while partnered with everyone, so limits should be established to focus efforts.

At work I am often the “No Guy,” the guy in meetings that chimes in with a jigger of reality. While I am sure that I’m not perceived as a “team player,” I am often the one what has to execute the opportunity management and partners dream up. So I often have to burst a few bubbles. Maybe I am a jerk or just too stupid or red box in flexibility.

Wow, this wasn’t fun at all. Here. (I haven’t played it, but it seems promising).

Oh, I forgot about “strategic.” Grrrr.