The Internet in My Pants

For about a week now my goal has been to get the Internet in my pants. That is to say, I’d like a smart phone that lets me do Internet-y things like send e-mail, txt, get maps, read RSS, post photos to my Flickr account, blog a bit, etc. I don’t need it to be a media player or take videos. I’m not even sure that I want it to open Office docs.

Why do I need a smart phone? I have no idea. Not like I have any one calling me or texting me. Nor will I use it to conduct business. The Cat has suggested that it is a toy and she is mostly right. We don’t use our cell phones to communicate much (either her’s is out of juice or mine is MIA). I just feel like we are missing out on some sort of important technology. Like the people who said that the Internet was just a fad. I don’t want to be that old guy who can’t understand why you can only use your phone to pay for groceries come 2025.

It should be easy to pick out a phone, but it’s not. I tend to obsess over purchases, read reviews and comments and generally troll the Web looking for some one to endorse the product I’ve latched on to. Cell phone reviews lack consistency. If a reviewer loves a phone on one site, then another reviewer hates it on another site. Same for user reviews; they never match the sites review. And of course there are at least 2 users that said the phone didn’t work at all or broke with in seconds of turning it on.

All that being said, my quest goes on. I’m looking for a phone that:

• Is more smart phone and not so much a PDA (I’m looking at you Treo).
• Has a full QWERTY keyboard. None of that regular phone keypad crap. And it should slide out; I don’t care for the phones that open like a laptop.
• Can surf the Internet. I realize that it’s not going to be everything on the Internet, but it should be close.
• Has a camera. Nothing fancy, but most have 1.3 megapixel now.
• Can handle to do some Web 2.0 stuff, so I guess Java or some such.

I’ve been looking at two phones. Both from T-Mobile: the MDA or the Sidekick 3. Both have the features I want but the MDA has a bit more and is slightly more adult. One interesting little gizmo is the Sony Mylo. It’s not quite a phone; you don’t pay for a service cause it runs on WiFi, which limits where you can actually use the thing. But it has Skype and Google Chat to offset its lack of anywhere phone service. The Cat and I played around with them at the Sony store. I was pretty impressed and if it was cheaper I probably would have picked one up. Everyone seems on fire about the Q; I’ll have to read about that one, though it doesn’t have the slide keyboard. People the hell out of the Blackberry Pearl also, but I don’t like the keypad.

One thing I don’t understand is the phone stores. They either don’t have any phones set up so you can actually use them or the phones are dummy shells. Doesn’t anyone test the things before they buy? I used an employee’s MDA at one store (his browser history had porn in it) and they couldn’t find a Sidekick for me to mess with. They should have had both fired up and ready to go to entice me. At the Sony store they didn’t even provide their little Mylo with a good WiFi signal. I used it on a weak signal that was just floating around.

If anyone can think of a phone that would satisfy my requirements just let me know.

By the way, Amazon has some pretty good phone deals.

Lovely Commute

Ah, what a lovely spring day (Thanks Global Warming!). I’m not one for weather, but today was great.

My judge of a nice day is my scoot home. If it’s nice, then the day is nice. Today it was glove and jacket weather. Sure it took forever to go 3 miles but I didn’t care.

Bonus: I got to listen in on a guy in a Porsche S-something or other listen to Rico Suave by Gerardo. Seriously? He was some 'burban white guy and I think he had it on XM radio. Seriously?! He paid to have that beamed into his car from space. It completely freaked by beans.

As a public service if you are going to relive your frat days with bad music, please put the top down on your convertible.

BSG = WOW

WOW! That’s all I can say. I’m not sure my frail body can take any more of Battlestar Galatica. I watched 4 episodes (one of which was part of the 2.0 release) and I think my mind was blown like 10 times. More than any other show BSG makes me gasp and shout exclamations at key moments.

In brief:

• I did expect the Admiral to make some sort of exit, just not like that. I really thought her XO was going to mutiny or something.
• Adama is a bad ass, as I knew before.
• Roslin is also some what of a bad ass (I don’t think I will ever forget her blowing that Cylon out of the airlock).
• Baltar is a jerkwad. Sure we all like smooching hot bio-robot chicks, but dude get a fraking grip and stop giving people nukes. Jeeze.
• The whole cancer treatment thing was a little to deux ex machina . . . uh. . . hmmm. Well come to think of it that might have been very intentional.

I’ll binge on the other disks when I can ‘flix them.

Between BSG, Veronica Mars and Farscape I’ve got quite a few series in the air right now. It’s great watching shows like BSG and Veronica Mars a season at a time. Sure you have to wait a year for them to come out, but you don’t have to wait “until next week” for cliffhangers or arcs to resolve themselves. I don’t mind the suspense, but these stories are so grand and complex I prefer to view them over the course of a few weeks rather than a year. From what I hear about Lost season viewing would probably be best.

So if you haven’t started watching BSG do so. Same for Veronica Mars. And Doctor Who. You’ll be a better person for it.

You down with BSG?

Yeah, you know me.

Right now, right at this very second (see the time stamp) I'm sitting down with disk 1 of Battlestar Galatica 2.5. I can finally find out what Barnelia and Cecil are whispering about all the time.

By the way, I can't stand the damn theme song.

Games of the Non-Video Kind

Last weekend The Cat and I had Barnelia and Cecil over for dinner and a Bad Movie. This time around it was The Wizard staring Super Mario 3, the Power Glove and Fred Savage. While it was amusing, it wasn’t the highlight of the evening for me.

No, I was thrilled that we all played Carcassonne which I bought earlier that day. I used to play lots of RPGs and board games with my friends in the Sunshine State. Unfortunately I don’t know anyone these days that wants to throw some d20s or calculate their berserker’s THAC0.

Carcassone is a neat little strategy game with a nice dose of luck thrown in. And while it was fairly complex you could carry on a conversation while playing. Personally I love tile laying games; something about building your own board every time that helps keep things fresh. It offers plenty of expansion sets (which I also love) to keep adding to the game. And the pieces are great; their called Meeples (miniature people), made out of wood and fun to stack when you are scheming. (If they are you meeples are they your meeps?)

I think everyone had a pretty good reaction to it. But Cecil was slightly dismayed at the game’s lack of violence. Perhaps one of the expansions will let him bully other player’s meeples around. If not I can drag out RoboRally, that’s usually pretty violent. The Cat, AKA “Board Game Hater”, even suffered through two games. And Barnelia demonstrated her inner vassal by schooling us in both games. I hope we can play again.

Terroists of Penzance

Here I am shirking an assignment and my patriotic duty: to spend 9/11 not watching something about 9/11. Something that will make me hate terrorists, hate the administration, feel proud to be an American, hate America, salute NY’s emergency services, get angry that nothing has really changed, feel guilty for not being on one of those flights, salute those that died as heroes, make martyrs of them, get all giggly cause you think the Armageddon is a comin’ or feel sorry for yourself cause you live in such a screwed up world. Just take your pick; I’m sure you can find some media to reinforce it.

Me? I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. It’s a great movie. It has to be some sort of miracle to have made such a decent flick from a ride. I can’t wait until the second one comes out on DVD.

(Here is where I set aside my unused history degree; I don’t feel like beating down the particulars on this one.)

Standing at the nexus of terrorists and pirates makes me wonder if 400 years in the future will there be a movie romanticizing our current situation? I mean it must have royally sucked to live in the Caribbean in the 1600’s, pirates or not. Sure you had nice beach front property but you’d probably be a slave or have some disease or get killed by a pirate or never get enough to eat or whatever. But when Johnny Depp and Legolas get all swash and buckle, it looks grand. Who wouldn’t want to be a pirate? You get to hang out with Keira Knightly and wear great hats.

Not to mention the role reversal. Aren’t pirates supposed to be bad guys? Outside the law, stealing, raping and pillaging. Last time I checked that’s some pretty bad crap. But the British (who were no saints; who is really?) always look like jerks or worse. We root for the pirates to pull off derring-do, get the girl and have a moral code. I’m almost sure that only one of those really occurred in real life and it was probably less than moral.

It will be very interesting to see how the future deals with this time. Will our suffering and strife be a source of entertainment? I could imagine that in 400 years there will be a great hologram where you can play the part of the heroic hijacker. And just to keep it all “Hollywood,” before crashing the hijacker will be able to parachute out at the last minute yelling “Yippie-ki yea!,” land then kiss some girl in a burka.

Dude, this post probably put me on some sort of list.

Doctor Who:Radiophoa-tron

Now you too can make your very own Doctor Who theme song. The Radiophona-tron has samples and loops from the previous Doctor’s theme songs. It’s very cool, but I just wish they didn’t put it in that weird hex layout.

This will come in handy when we film Cybersnakes on a TARDIS.

Daleks vs. Cybermen, OMG!

**spoiler warning if you care about the second season finale Doctor Who**

I just finished the final episodes the second season of Doctor Who. Barnelia and Cecil saw it a few weeks ago, but they quietly keep their secrets to themselves.

I’m not that big of a classic Doctor Who fan so I can’t say that this is the first Dalek and Cybermen throw down; probably not given their reactions to each other. But I had thought about it when the Cybermen were reintroduced in season two. It was just pure geek fantasy, thinking about who would win between the two; sort of a British Aliens vs. Predator.

I was genuinely shocked that the Daleks popped out of the sphere (thanks for not spoiling Cecil). I didn’t see it coming and I couldn’t imagine the situation worse off than Cybermen invading the whole earth. Then out pop four Daleks not to mention the scads that would soon pour out of the Genesis Ark. I always marvel how menacing the new series’ Daleks are, they just sit there and stare.

My favorite part of the episode was the smack talk between the Daleks and Cybermen. In my mind these two foes are essentially the same (though some fanboys would beg to differ, maybe one will show up and comment the heck out of me):

Metal body, check
Organic parts, check
Really, really tough, check
Don’t care for the Doctor, check

But during the smack talk they really pick at each other. Personally I feel that the Daleks got the best lines and managed to carry them out; the Daleks mopped the floor with the Cybermen. The best one is when the black Dalek tells the Cybermen that it won’t be war, but pest control to beat the crap out of the Cybermen. Genius!

(I snagged those images from the Politically Incorrect Alphabet.)

Checked out.

I think we’ve reached the threshold where I just get flat out bored. Or at least not engaged fully.

Most of the students are now just wheedling away at what is expected for assignments. Not concepts or moving their knowledge forward, just nitpicking over sentences or requirements.

Now my mind is just drifting off to Barnelia’s Baked Beans. I’m not a huge bean fan, but these were great. They were all molasses-y and yummy. The only weird thing is that, mixed in with the beans, was this meat looking substance . . . that Barnelia didn’t add. It was like the beans make their own meat much like things make their own sauce. Sure it was strange and disturbing but I don’t think it was meat at all but some broken down beans. Lord I hope so.

Best shirt I’ve seen in a while.

Still Slogging.

Class is still some what boring or maybe it is the knowledge that I have to sit here all day. And I have a longish flight to look forward to on Tuesday. My rear end is doing plenty of sitting. At least on the plane I can watch some cartoons or Doctor Who or play some games. In class I have to pay attention or at least pretend too. I wonder what the instructor thinks of people using laptops. With a WiFi connection I could be doing anything in the world (like blogging). For all they know I could be playing Warcraft . . . wait a minute! If this was my laptop I’d have it on here.

I could be slaying crap right now. Damn.

The Worst Thing:

Old people in a computer lab exercise. Geezus H Kittens! If you can’t use a computer don’t take an on-line class and don’t become a librarian. They use computers for crying out loud. Either they can’t read directions or they can’t navigate the OS or maybe they just don’t know how to use a mouse. Like Scotty in The Voyage Home.

The Best Part of Class

Lunch. Sure it sounds “Jr. High,” but the restaurant in the hotel (where the class is held) is great. While other students bust ass over to the student union for sweaty burgers and oddly chemical food from Chili’s Too (“More Chilier!!”), I pop down to the restaurant. It’s a nice sit down place that has unique dishes, particularly for hotel food. No reubens or grill chicken sandwiches here nor is the menu drowning in ranch. Yesterday I had a cashew encrusted chicken with veggies and some sort of Creole/Cajun rice. The chicken was residing in a (tasteful) pool of spicy mango sauce. It was lovely and the salad dressing was to die for, a silky balsamic number. I almost pulled at The Cat (AKA “Spoon Licker”) and extracted every speck of dressing from that plate.

Today I sat down to a Latin Crab Cake salad. Now the crab cakes could have used more crab (it was primarily spuds) but it was otherwise very good. It came with a delicious papaya sauce. I’ll probably return for the remaining two days of the class.

I’d best get in some decent food before heading on a business trip to the north. . . way to the north.

Wow that was fast.

Ok, so the annoyer is the same as yesterday. Other people are commenting, but it is mostly the annoyer that is interjecting with too many specific personal stories. It’s a different professor so he isn’t annoyed yet, but the students are starting to turn. Now every time the annoyer opens their mouths several people start to snicker and whisper to each other.

I swear I heard some one giggle which they quickly turn into a cough.

In other news, people love shitty hotel bagels. As soon as the break was declared, the vultures descended on the snack tray to pick it clean. I think I just saw some one eating a doily smeared with warm cream cheese. It’s amazing the kinds of shit people will put into their heads. These are the nasty as hell bagels that seem to expand as you chew them. Imagine what that little bastard is doing in your colon.

Oh and the chick next to me is overheating so much that she had to run a battery operated fan. Hint: Don’t wear a sweater. Fashion is a bitch.

Ha! Online!

So I’m in class and the professor is telling us how much libraries are going down the tubes and how Google is taking over the field. Is this how they are selling their program? I don’t mind hearing about the challenges of libraries but every class ends up starting with this doom and gloom shit. It’s not exactly a pep rally.

Man this guy is angry. Hmmm….angry librarian, this is getting interesting. (Except his isn’t really, really angry. He is excusing is use of the word “crap.” If he was really angry he would drop the S and F bomb.) As everyone knows I love being angry. And nothing makes me angrier than loosing my job/career to a huge corporation. But is there really going to be a profession when all this is said and done?

There’s one in every class.

(Back in class again.)

You know, that person that just has to ask the stupid question (No matter what you’ve heard there are in fact stupid questions). Usually this person also feels the need to constantly chime in with their personal stories or situation. And more than likely it’s to bitch or tell everyone how their situation breaks what ever truism or rule the professor is lecturing about.

There seems to be one of these people in every single college class. No more, no less. I think the registrar must specially arrange for them.

While these folks are annoying it is amusing to see when the professor gets exasperated with them. You can clearly see it in this simple formula:

Professor’s annoyance level = ((total number of stupid question/number of minutes since last stupid question )age of annoyer)annoying features of annoyer

It is always important to take special note of any annoying features of the annoyer. A grating voice or repetitive speech pattern can go along way to rattling up the professor.

It’s irrelevant how long, how good or how unflappable the professor is, the annoyer will always get to them. It just takes time and more questions.

I’ll spend the next few days trying to determine two things: 1) a humorous name for this type of student and 2) the annoyer remains the same for the length of the course. It has been my experience that they do I just haven’t focused on this aspect before. Usually I am rolling my eyes and sighing too much.